Archive for the ‘Marriage & Relationships’ Category

Greetings all, it was a hectic weekend indeed as we had to do this wedding I spoke of in my last post which you read here. Well Praise The Master, cause it turned out to be a beautiful wedding. I was tremendously happy for my bro. I even made the speech that stole the occasion 🙂

But thats not to say it was easy function. Even till 9pm we were discreetly going around trying to solicit money from anyone in order to pay the music provider! Food run out and about 60 of the 300 or so people didn’t eat. The rain was a b***h all day. And it was an open air reception so you can imagine how that messed us up. Looking for tents at the last minute, trying to change the venue to indoors and then back again…sigh. 

All in all, God really used those in the committee to do an amazing patch up job.These people were fantastic. Inspite of all the dramatic drama, insult hurling power plays and blame-gaming, the couple are now married. And I’m blessed by that. They have made a major spiritual victory because both groom and bride come from parents who weren’t married. So they have dealt the dark forces a major blow by breaking that curse in their lineage.

And, in closing my speech, I told them as a matter of fact, that after we are done eating their embaga, they are on their own. So they gotta work it out just the two of them. I have had the privelege of seeing the groom today. He paid me a visit, very happy and very grateful to me and the others for all we did for him. He says there are indeed major wounds to be healed between the two of them but he’s full of hope, that the God who did the wedding will make this marriage too.

Let’s all pray that his words come to pass beyond his wildest dreams.

Shalom good friends.


Read Full Post »

Is it just me or is getting married more popular than ntinda pork joints nowadays? Everywhere you turn there’s at least like 5weddings your aware of at any given time. Don’t get me wrong. Marriage and pork are great but getting wedded, most certainly is not.

You see, people are so ridicously obsessed with the wedding day. The cars, the decorations, the clothing, the guest list–who’s who, the cake, even the party poppers!!! Lo but the financial, emotional and spiritual cost of these things is staggering.

I’m married and I assure you that it’s a nightmare putting a wedding together. Surprisingly, the main reason isn’t the cost or logistics. No. It’s the humans involved, from the in-laws, out-laws, friends, service providers to even the bride and groom. Selfishness and self-centeredness are at the root. When it comes to weddings everyone forgets what’s really truly important, and that is, making an eternal commitment to one another before God and men. We actually forget about the bride and groom.

I am incensed at this. I don’t care much for weddings. Marriage is a sacred and immensely important. Everyone deserves to start it on a good footing. Today’s wedding preps strain even the strongest foundations of a couple’s relationship and beliefs. Most people start marriage in debt not only financially but also emotionally and spiritually. Bruised hearts, crushed self-esteem, destroyed trust. All because of trying to keep up with the Jones or rather the Jose Chameleons of this world.

My favorite cousin is getting married tomorrow. It’s been the most amazingly depressing time for the poor chap to get to this point. The devil attacked him viciously financially, but even his bride and her family have done so too. As we speak, we don’t even have music or photography locked down for sure. Why? because between everyone involved, people have been more concerned with how many guests can be invited, a particular exorbitant decorator and a WBS limo.

He has endured insult after insult from his out-laws even been called a detoother simply because the bride’s father graciously contributed a huge chunk of the reception. They claim he’s marrying their daughter for the dad’s money. The poor man is broken. He’s even questioning whether this woman is the right choice because he feels so alone in this. It’s like he’s doing a wedding for her as some kind of cruel punishment from the gods. They haven’t had a loving conversation in two weeks. The strongest savviest most confident man I know, now doubts himself.

Trust me when I say a man can endure almost anything when the woman he loves is constantly by his side; but when she’s acts as diva and treats him like he’s on his own, any number of things can go wrong.

I love wazungu who have small garden weddings in their parents back yard with like 60 of their closest friends and family. Totally unlike the “kigunda” affairs we love in UG. Better still, the Vegas wedding. No stress.

For those of you getting married anytime soon, I admonish you to always remember what’s truly important. Honoring your God and your spouse. That’s all you need. It’s not the 5000$ wedding dress, the Serena hotel seating 1000 guests or the marching band. If you put those things above your spouse on the wedding day…oooh boy you’ll be in trouble. Remember, the vows you recite that day say for better or for worse meaning limo or boda-boda, I’m with you forever.

I know women have the bigger challenge with this advice because you dream of your wedding day since you were like two years old. But I’ve seen the mistakes my sis-in-law has made and I can already see the repercussions of her choices. Right now she’s unaware of them cause of the immense dust cloud weddings raise but when all is done and it’s just the two of them in the house; deafening silence and cold shoulders will reveal to her that she chose poorly when it mattered the most. I feel very sad for them because of the mountain of rebuilding they now have to do for their relationship.

As for my cousin, I’m doing mad praying for him that tomorrow will be a fantastic day for him and his wife and their marriage will turn out to be a great testimony to The Master. Do join me in this if you can.



After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.

Adam, in Adam’s Diary

Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.

Tom Mullen

Read Full Post »